Sometimes Leadership is Two Steps Forward, One Step Back
Photo Credit: Wolfgang Hasselmann via Unsplash
Why lasting leadership growth includes learning how to regroup. Again and again.
Leadership development is rarely a straight line. We gain insight, practice new behaviors, learn to trust more, let go of old habits and begin to lead differently. Then something suddenly changes. A reorganization. A new boss. A disappointment we didn’t see coming. Under pressure, even a leader who has genuinely grown can find themselves returning to the very behaviors they thought they had left behind.
That doesn’t necessarily mean the development didn’t work. Perhaps part of making change stick is learning to recognize when we have slipped back into the familiar and knowing how to find our way forward again.
Henley Leadership Group coach Penny shares the story of a leader she has worked with through years of growth, setbacks, and regrouping. Understanding Hidden Culture in Organizations
Penny’s Story
“Two steps forward, one step back.” You know that old saying. We make some progress in our lives, our work, and our development as humans, but then life intervenes. Whammo, a loved one gets sick, you get sick, a job is lost. An event we don't see coming bites us right between steps two and three. We start all over again, and I think of my colleague, client, and friend from the healthcare industry. We’ve worked together since 2019.
She came to me as a highly driven administrative leader with a dream of becoming a hospital CEO someday. Her sister had died from cancer when they were young, and now all she wanted to do was save the world from cancer. As a non-clinical leader and a woman, this is a very lofty goal. She charged ahead with her team, solving problems, implementing system-wide solutions, and keeping patients and the institution safe.
She had a big team. They produced a lot, and she was growing herself and her team. She trusted more. She let go here and there. Results continued. And then came a merger. The team she had built was dispersed, her remit and her manager changed, and she fell back into old habits of driving too hard, working too much, and being too critical.
She was at the effect of her environment. We regrouped. Reoriented to her vision, her compelling why. She rebuilt her team. She renewed herself. An opening she aspired to became available. She asked her boss, "Should I go for it? I think I'll go for it," she said. She was encouraged, in fact.
Her boss all but promised her the role. Then, you guessed it, whammo, the universe had other plans. Her new VP had a different vision and, instead of filling the role, reassigned it elsewhere in the organization.
Once again, my client was devastated. Two steps forward, and now a big knock back. We regrouped.
She wondered anew and looked out on the horizon. "What else might be out there for me?" she wondered. We looked two or even three horizons out. She shifted. She explored. She wasn't at her best, but she focused on that far horizon. And then out of the blue, an old colleague from the early days reached out.
She considered. She did her due diligence. She opened up and let go all at once, stepping now in leaps and bounds ahead toward her long-held vision. She's still not in that CEO seat, but she continues on her path.
— Penny Koch-Patterson
The Practice of Regrouping
Penny reminds us that falling back into an old way of leading doesn’t erase the growth that came before it. The habits we return to under pressure often developed for a reason. Driving harder, taking control, working longer hours, or holding ourselves and others to impossibly high standards may have helped us succeed at some point. When circumstances become difficult, those familiar ways of operating can quickly take over again.
What stands out is what happens next: We regrouped. Not once, but again and again.
That may be one of the most practical lessons of leadership development. Insight helps us see our patterns, but practice helps us recognize when we are back inside them and find our way out. Sometimes that means returning to our purpose, reconnecting with what matters most, asking for help, or simply looking beyond the setback in front of us toward a farther horizon.
Lasting change may not mean that the old pattern never returns. It may mean that we recognize it sooner, recover more quickly, and become increasingly able to choose what comes next. Two steps forward and one step back is, after all, still a step forward.
Here, we revisit Cultivating Steadiness in a Rapidly Changing Workplace. And what steady leadership asks of us when change, complexity, and uncertainty are constant.
Reflection for Leaders
What patterns in your leadership tend to reappear (again and again!) when you’re under pressure?
Think about a time when something disrupted your sense of progress. What did you notice about how you responded?
When you find yourself returning to an old way of leading, what helps you decide what to do next?
When the path you expected changes, what becomes possible when you look beyond the immediate setback?
-
Yes. Under pressure, leaders tend tp return to familiar ways of operating, such as driving harder, taking control, working longer hours or holding themselves and others to very high standards. That doesn’t necessarily mean the growth that came before has been lost.
-
Changing circumstances like a reorganization, a new boss, an unexpected disappointment can challenge even deeply practiced changes. Lasting growth may be less about never slipping back and more about recognizing old patterns sooner and finding a way forward again.
-
A reset might mean returning to your purpose, reconnecting with what matters most, asking for help, or looking beyond the immediate setback toward a farther horizon.
Explore with Us!
You don’t have to navigate the hardest parts of leadership alone.
Through executive coaching, team development, and leadership programs based in Seattle, we support leaders in building the capacity to work with complexity and real-time dynamics.
A coach can help you work through many leadership challenges. Explore executive coaching and leadership development programs with Henley Leadership Group.