Lead with Appreciation: A Practical Guide for Managers
Photo credit: Vitaly Gariev | Unsplash
As leaders and humans, we can’t help but talk a lot about gratitude this time of year. But being thankful isn’t just a seasonal sentiment. It’s a powerful lens that shapes how we see others, how we lead, and how we live. At the heart of it lies something even more transformative: appreciation.
With the holidays approaching, it’s natural to reflect on gratitude, but appreciation runs deeper. Appreciation isn’t about compliments, gift cards, or trophies. It’s not about recognition, rewards, kudos, or “atta boys.” Those things can certainly boost morale and egos, but they’re easy and can be superficial.
True appreciation requires an uncommon kind of thoughtfulness. It means entering another’s world, really experiencing it, and mirroring back what you’ve seen. It’s about letting someone know the difference their unique contribution has made on you, personally and specifically.
Appreciation Has A Measurable Impact
Appreciation isn’t just warm and fuzzy; it’s actually good for your health. Neuroscience shows that expressing or receiving appreciation triggers the release of dopamine and serotonin, the neurotransmitters that elevate mood and reduce stress. They literally make you feel good from the inside out.
People who feel valued experience higher self-esteem, motivation, and engagement. They form stronger relationships, and those relationships, in turn, strengthen teams and organizations.
“The regions associated with gratitude are part of the neural networks that light up when we socialize and experience pleasure… because gratitude relies on brain networks associated with social bonding and stress relief, this may explain how appreciation can lead to health benefits over time. Feeling appreciated creates a more relaxed body state and allows the subsequent benefits of lowered stress to wash over us.” — Dr. Glen Fox, USC
Appreciation rewires our brains to foster calmness, connection, and resilience.
Becoming a More Appreciative Leader
1. Energy Follows Attention
Energy flows where attention goes. What you focus on expands.
When you dwell on what’s wrong, you’ll find more of it, feeling depleted, tired, and irritable. But when you shift your attention to what’s good and what’s working, your energy follows. Your brain literally lights up.
2. It’s Not All Puppies and Ponies
Appreciation isn’t just for the good times. It’s also an act of courage and curiosity when things are difficult, and when someone’s choices or worldview make no sense to you.
Entering another’s world to seek understanding is appreciation in action.
“I appreciate that you have a different experience than me. I can see there’s more for me to learn.”
That kind of appreciation creates connection, even across differences. It says: You belong here.
3. Make It a Habit
Take a few minutes each week to express your appreciation to people for their contributions. Start team meetings with short acknowledgments. End your week by jotting down what went right and who helped make it happen.
The more you practice finding and expressing appreciation, the easier it becomes. It’s not just good for others. It’s good for you.
A Season for Seeing What’s Good
As we head into the holidays, we are reminded to step back and take stock of our lives. It’s a natural moment to notice what’s working, who’s showing up, and what difference they’ve made.
But appreciation isn’t something to save for one time of year. It’s a way of seeing and engaging with others that strengthens connection every day.
True appreciation doesn’t just change relationships; it transforms them. It changes brains, our bodies, and teams.
Finding and expressing the good is good for everyone.
This Week You Might Try This:
Pause and Notice
Who made your work easier this week? What did they do that mattered to you?Be Specific
Name the behavior or contribution and why it mattered. “Here’s the difference you made…”Stay Curious
When someone sees the world differently, ask: “Help me understand what you’re seeing.”Acknowledge the Invisible
Recognize the quiet work, emotional labor or unseen effort that supports others.Give Appreciation a Place
Begin or end one meeting this week by asking: “Who would you like to appreciate?”
Want to take this work further?
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