The Leadership Power Paradox: When Command Helps … and Hurts
Photo credit: Richard Lee via Unsplash
"Top-down leadership is effective when clear authority is needed, rapid decisions are required, or a crisis is unfolding. But doing everything yourself as a leader becomes a liability; it’s unsustainable and erodes trust and effectiveness. Power is not just about how much you hold; it’s about how much you share at the right time with the right people."
— Kenden Alfond, Leadership Coach
At Henley, We Wondered…
As a leader, do you ever secretly wish you could say, “Jump!” and your team would answer, “How high?” In other words, always do whatever you say, no questions asked.
The truth is, there’s plenty of evidence that top-down, command-and-control leadership can drive results. It can save lives and win wars, but it can also silence voices, squelch creativity and drive talented people away.
So, where’s the sweet spot? Is it possible to have a healthy hierarchy that provides strong vision, clarity and direction without stifling the creativity and progress that emerge when more voices and perspectives work together toward a shared goal?
“In top-down, command-and-control leadership, obedience gets rewarded, not innovation,” offers Henley coach Alan Cahn. “There’s deep value in hiring people who challenge you as a leader and in doing the inner work it takes to let them.”
That’s the paradox of power - knowing when to hold it and when to share it. Here’s what some of our coaches have to say about this.
When Command Works and When It Doesn’t — Jon Mullican
Jon Mullican, Executive Coach
Historically, the military is seen as an effective, efficient, ordered organization, a fighting machine and the epitome of a top-down structure.
I experienced this leadership style for over a decade while serving in the U.S. nuclear Navy. Top-down leadership absolutely works. The job gets done, opponents are vanquished and fellow sailors live. Orders are issued, followed and enforced - a true war-fighting machine. But all of life is not war.
Much of life is relational. People who go through intense experiences together - training or being in actual combat - forge relationships like no other. So why not keep top-down leadership always? Because not everything is a battle. Leading people means relating to them as humans, not as automatons or machines.
Outside of a crisis, leadership takes on a different form. Command creates order, but not always growth. Leading through relationship allows personality and gifts to emerge that would otherwise be squelched by rigid hierarchy. People respond to people better than to barked orders from on high.
In business, everyone is a volunteer, not government-issued or bound by law to obey. In the end, it’s better to relate and retain than to bark orders and be gone.
When Control Becomes the Mission — Derek Olsen
Derek Olsen, Executive Coach
Mitch (not his real name) was one of my bosses before I joined the Henley Group. He was a top-down, command-and-control, short-term profitability kind of leader. Working there was sad and depressing. It was a cold and ugly place.
Nobody seemed to like being there. I hated it. We all did the least we could to get the job done. We avoided the boss as much as possible, which meant he was constantly lacking information. After I left, one of his employees embezzled from him.
Overall, he did well financially, but Mitch missed out on what might have been possible had he put his people first or even included them in his mission. He might have created something far more rewarding than a small business of miserable people.
It was there that I learned that top-down leadership works. Command and control gets results, but the results are short-term and come at a big cost.
Holding Power Lightly — Penny Koch-Peterson
Penny Koch-Patterson,
Executive Coach
Top-down leadership works. It gets things done. This command-and-control style can be effective in creating clarity and driving results. As an Enneagram Three, my nature is to lead in this way, and it can become so habitual that over time, I may not always recognize the impact of my style. Yes, the results come, but not much in terms of connection.
In a world where we spend so much of our time at work, we also need connection - to human energy, new perspectives and big ideas. It takes time and intention for leaders to lead differently, and few are rewarded for the relationships they build. Most are rewarded for results.
Yet there are those leaders who manage to go against the grain and bring compassion and even love into what they do. Leaders who choose to lead in service to connection and purpose are those who see the world as something bigger and more expansive than themselves. They know what’s possible when we nurture and prioritize connection over results. They choose the road less taken.
Leaders who put results second - or even third - to relationship do so because they’re committed to a big idea that positively supports humanity. These leaders go against what’s typical with courage and authenticity, and they find joy in the success of others, not just in their own.
It’s not either/or. It’s both/and. The art lies in knowing when to hold power and when to share it freely. When to focus on results and when to focus on relationships.
Reading the Room, Not a Rulebook
Leadership doesn’t follow a single formula. In a crisis, control reduces ambiguity. In stability, connection brings strength. The paradox of power is that both command and care are necessary, and neither works particularly well alone.
We’ve all known leaders who command without caring and others who care deeply without effectively leading. Both leave a wake. The balance defines great leadership.
Command-and-control will always have its place, whether in a five-alarm fire, a crisis, or chaos. But most leadership happens in the long stretches between emergencies, in the ordinary days when people look for their place in an organization, for meaning and purpose, and for how they can best contribute.
That’s where relational leadership thrives. It’s slower, but it lasts longer. It doesn’t produce soldiers, it creates stewards. The paradox of power is that it takes strength to lead with authority, and even greater strength to share it.
At Henley Leadership, we believe leadership is an ongoing inquiry. The more we explore the tension between command and care, the more human and more effective we become as leaders.
Because in the end, power isn’t just what moves people. It’s what reveals who we are as leaders when they choose to follow us.
Reflection: Key Takeaways for Leaders
Where do you rely on authority because it feels quicker or more predictable? What might open up if you invited others into the process?
Look for places where potential is held back.
Are there moments when your team follows instructions but doesn’t contribute ideas? What could you shift to create more space for initiative?Experiment with letting go in small, deliberate ways.
What decision or responsibility could you hand off this week that would grow someone else and expand your own capacity to trust?Lead in a way that strengthens your team’s confidence.
In calmer times, how might you lead by listening, including, and encouraging others to step forward? Where can you slow down enough to hear what you may be missing?
Ready to Grow Your Leadership in Community?
If this exploration of the power paradox resonates with you and you’re looking to deepen your leadership development, we’d love to support your next step. Henley Leadership Group offers executive coaching, leadership development programs, and team development experiences.
And if you want an inspiring, high-energy way to stay connected to your growth, join us at Henley Live, our one-day leadership event in Seattle. It’s a chance to learn with other leaders, explore real-world tools, and reconnect with what makes your leadership meaningful.