Why the Check-In Might Be the Most Powerful Part of Your Meeting
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Why We Always Do Check-Ins at Henley Leadership Group
The other day I was thinking that one of the most useful tools we use religiously at Henley Leadership Group is the “check-in,” because there’s always that awkward moment when everyone first arrives at a meeting. . .
People might be struggling with their headphones, getting a slide deck tee’d up or are harried and walking in late. Many have already been in back-to-back conversations and are deeply distracted. Their minds are visibly full.
Regardless, each person is asked to stop and share about how they’re doing or what they’re thinking about or answer a specific question asked by the leader. Sometimes, if they don’t know what to say or haven’t really thought about it, they might decide to follow the *PIES check-in. It’s a good way to access and reflect upon their whole self in four areas of well-being: physical, intellectual, emotional or spiritual. The check-in gets people into THIS meeting.
Why We’re Always Tempted to Skip . . . and Why We Shouldn’t
I notice in the face of time constraints, when you’re really under the gun, we often want to skip the check-in. It is tempting to dive right into the meeting and the materials. Taking time to go around the room and hear from each person seems like a gigantic time-waster– something nice to have, but not essential.
However, during the pandemic and as recently as last week, I have watched the magic of the check-in unfold over and over, and how much more gets accomplished (seen and unseen!) when you take the time to do it.
What Checking-in Reveals
For a few minutes, each person candidly shares what’s going on in their workday. Or what they are paying attention to at that moment. Pretty quickly, I notice who’s actually in the room or on the call, who has arrived, and who is still doing tasks from something prior or preparing for what’s coming up, surreptitiously checking their screen.
I also see my colleagues near tears when they share that they feel underwater with a project or are struggling with a personnel issue, have lost a grandparent or are worried about a friend.
I’m always surprised how much we carry into our workday. On top of big workloads (and loads of uncertainty!) there’s the pace of change every workplace is experiencing that feels untenable at times. Our team members are learning complicated new technologies and caring for elderly parents. They’re going through another RE-ORG and moving into a new place, under a project deadline and having a baby or burying someone.
Check-Ins Build Awareness and Connection
The check-in is incredibly important for insight and a magical tool for discovery. In the most personal way possible, it helps inform - and maybe even alter - how I might interact with a co-worker, what I might expect of them going forward or how I might reach out to them later to see if they just want to chat.
I also notice that as people share their day, their work and their concerns, their faces lighten and their eyes brighten. The camaraderie helps with whatever they are shouldering. Everyone starts to come into the conversation, and I feel a part of a team, not just an individual in the room.
So it would be hard to imagine any other way that one could learn such crucial information faster, deeper or more efficiently.
What’s left after checking in is getting to work and figuring out how to move forward on a task or the project at hand. Everything is made easier by the warmth and connection that was not there 15 minutes earlier. We are rowing the boat in the same direction, at least for now.
The Secret Skill Embedded in a Check-In . . .
Almost by accident, the check-in introduces another incredible tool: Listening. It’s counterintuitive, but being silent and actually hearing what is being said, is not a passive activity. Listening generously to another person is a core skill that can deepen understanding, create connection and build trust.
All of this is crucial for navigating the complexity of our work relationships or resolving a conflict. It is a core skill in coaching, teaching, leadership, friendship, and anything that deals with people, really.
Check-In + Listening: Two Powerful Tools
The check-in, along with its close companion listening, are two of the most powerful skills we can bring to a meeting. Together, they build trust, strengthen emotional intelligence and help us deal with the complexity of our workday with humanity and grace.
*The Power of a PIES check-in
A PIES check-in is a quick way to reflect how you’re doing across four areas of well-being. And it invites people to reflect on their whole self, not just how they’re doing at work or emotionally, but physically, mentally and spiritually too. It can be used in teams, one-on-one conversations, when journaling or as a personal self-reflection to build awareness, relationship and care between teammates.
P - Physical
How is your body? Think about energy level, hunger, sleep, or your overall physical health.
“I’m feeling a little sluggish and tired today.”
I - Intellectual
What are you thinking about? Are you overwhelmed, distracted, or on top of your game today?
“I feel clear-headed and ready to tackle the details of this project!”
E - Emotional
How are you feeling? Calm, frustrated, sad or happy?
“I’m feeling a bit anxious today.”
S - Spiritual
Do you feel connected to your purpose, values, nature or something bigger?
“I’m just going through the motions at work. I need to take a walk and get reconnected to my original vision for this project.”
Tips For A Good Check-in
To have a good check-in, people need to feel safe enough to go out on a limb and actually tell the truth. That kind of honesty only happens when trust is present. It also helps if your colleagues see the value of this process and participate fully.
Understand that the role of the listener is as important as the role of the speaker. Sometimes we need to be reminded of how to listen. When someone is sharing, we are asked not to comment or even nod but just be fully present to what is being said.
Checking in takes time but makes every meeting more efficient and productive. People gain knowledge and connection and deepen their relationship to one another. This makes them better team members and leaders.
No time or too many people? Try the one word check-in. Ask each person to share a single word to express how they are feeling or their current state at the start of the meeting . This is a quick way to gauge the overall mood or energy of your group and can help build trust and connection in a short amount of time.
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