Finding Rest and Sanity as a Busy Working Parent

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As coaches, leaders and parents, we live in a constant state of balancing acts. The weight of professional responsibility and the demands of parenting often collide, leaving little space for genuine rest.

This month in our Coaches Corner, we explored what taking a break really means when you’re juggling a busy career and raising a family and how to find time to slow down or stop without waiting for the stars (or the calendars) to align perfectly.

First, the Myth of the Perfect Break

For many of us, the idea of taking a break that feels truly restorative is simply out of reach. Parenting doesn’t pause just because we step away from the office. Even when you do get away, you’re still thinking about them: Are they okay? Do they have what they need?

The same holds true with our work. Our projects, clients and teams keep on moving whether we’re there or not. Stepping away can feel like leaving an important part of ourselves and an incomplete To Do list behind, and we often convince ourselves we can’t afford it.

The result? We settle for time off here and there, squeezed in between a long list of responsibilities, rarely giving ourselves the deep reset our bodies and minds need.

When PTO Is a Mindset

Many leaders are still wired to think in the units of PTO they grew up with 10 days, 80 hours. It’s not just a workplace policy—it becomes an internalized limit.

Sam recalled taking most of her annual leave for her wedding, using the time to execute a beautiful, but exhausting weekend for 160 guests. Actual rest was just two days before heading back to work. Even with more flexibility in her work schedule now, she notices her mind still defaults to that old 10-day frame, making it hard to imagine anything more spacious.

For parents, even time away can come with the invisible tether of home life. The rare long vacation becomes less about switching off and more about managing thoughts, guilt and responsibilities from afar.

The Layered Mental Load

Parenting while working is a 24/7 mental workout. For many working parents, especially those leading teams, divisions or companies, there’s no “off” switch:

• Morning routines with kids before the first call.

• Back-to-back meetings and problem-solving at work.

• Evening transitions of dinner, homework, bedtime.

• And for some, a return to the laptop after the kids are asleep.

Getting the kids off to school, dinner on the table, back to the computer for a few more hours—then finally bed at 11 with a brain that’s still jacked up. And then we wonder why we can’t sleep. Add in the mental chatter—Am I giving enough to my family? Am I giving enough to my work? and the nervous system rarely gets a chance to downshift. Over time, this constant input chips away at focus, creativity and health.

Why the “Just Get Away” Model Isn’t Enough

Some of us imagine that a month-long sabbatical is the only way to reset. But in reality, most working parents can’t just “lay it all down” for weeks at a time. Even if we could, parenting is an all-weather, year-round role. The better question might be: What would restoration look like if we didn’t have to disappear to find it?

For some, that might be:

• Long, unstructured dinners without an agenda.

• A solo walk in nature without the phone.

• A weekend camping trip with no cell service.

• A few quiet hours in a café or garden, simply being.

These smaller resets, built into our regular life, can be more sustainable, and more accessible, than waiting for a mythical big break.

The Culture Problem

Part of the struggle is cultural. In many countries, six weeks of downtime is standard. Here, we often wear exhaustion like a badge of honor. As one coach put it: “We don’t rest in this country. We’re so driven to produce and it’s at a high cost to our humanity.”

Leaders with global teams often see this firsthand: clients logging in at 6:30 a.m. and still answering emails at 11 p.m., juggling international time zones, and parenting in between. The toll on health and family life is real.

Rethinking Support and Community

Parenting while leading can be incredibly isolating. We’ve moved away from or replaced many communal support systems (neighbors watching kids, extended family helping out) with paid services. While professional help has its place, it also means parents are carrying more of the emotional and logistical load alone.

Rebuilding a sense of shared responsibility, whether through community groups, reciprocal care with friends or more supportive workplace policies, could make a tangible difference. The other important piece as a leader is recognizing when you need support and asking for it.

Leading by Example

As leaders who are also parents, we have a unique opportunity to model what healthy rest looks like. This could mean:

• Creating and maintaining boundaries that truly protect evenings or weekends.

• Making sure work is properly handed off and covered as much as possible when someone is out.

• Encouraging your team to use their time off fully.

• Talking openly about the importance of downtime in sustaining good leadership AND good parenting.

• Taking a break yourself, to model all of the above and demonstrate healthy work balance behaviors.

By valuing rest for ourselves, we give permission to those we lead to do the same.

Parenting while leading is one of the most demanding balancing acts there is. Rest, for us, is not a simple luxury, it becomes a kind of survival skill. It may not come in perfect packages or extended escapes, but in the moments we create for ourselves: the quiet walks, laughter around the table, the phone left behind.

When we treat rest as essential, not optional, we show our teams, our families and ourselves that leadership and parenting can peacefully coexist without burning us out. We can be more present for both - and for ourselves - when we build restoration into the rhythm of our everyday lives.

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Recharge & Lead: Takeaways for Working Parents

• Rethink the “Perfect Break”
  Little pauses matter. Meaningful rest can come in small, intentional breaks woven into your daily life.

• Shift the PTO Mindset
  Time off isn’t just a policy, it’s also a mindset. Stop limiting rest to a set number of days; think about renewal in flexible, ongoing ways.

• Protect the Small Moments
  Bedtime routines, sharing stories and laughter at the dinner table or a phone-free coffee break can give you more energy than you think.

• Model Healthy Boundaries
  When leaders set boundaries and actually take breaks, it gives their teams permission to do the same.

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